Friday 27 March 2009

It's that time of year...

It's back. That's right.

Why is it that as the warmer weather approaches, so does the appearance of butt-crack?!?

I'm just sayin'.

Are shirts designed to rise as the temperature does? Why do some people find it necessary to expose the rest of us to their hairy crack?

Twice this week, I've had the dubious pleasure of spotting crack. Once in my local Wal-mart, and once in a parking lot. One was female, the other male.

And sadly, it was the female who exposed at least 2-3 inches of crack, along with 3 inches of underwear, and then came the pants. As she was bent over a stroller. With her rear pointed at the door of the Wal-mart. Where seeing her crack was completely unavoidable. And a startling shock to the senses. Didn't she feel that her pants were THAT low?? Seriously!

And then Mr. Dude in the parking lot. In another town, on another day. He had a black bomber jacket on, and beige pants with a brown belt. And right in between the black jacket and brown belt was a bright, horizontal strip of white. With a vertical black line running down the middle.


Pull up your PANTS!! Or, pull down your coat!! Ack! It was so distracting! He was walking right in front of me, and my eyes kept being drawn to the disturbing sight. It was only an inch wide. Easily fixable. But, he walked on, oblivious to my silent screams of "No More Crack! No More Crack!"


Am I the only one who objects to this spring-time sighting?? ;)


  1. NO, you're not the only one. Fortunately, I was only subject to ONE of the aforementioned sightings, and I am sorry that it was because you were accompanying me that you had to see the second one.

    I truly object.

    And I don't understand why they don't feel the cold on their back(sides)!

    Now, this morning, I saw a fellow walking along in mustard-yellow pants that had the crotch down around the knees. Seriously. I don't know how they walk.

    So, pants down or down further...either way, it's very odd.

    Makes you long for winter. Sort of.

  2. Now, now, you misunderstand.

    It's "spring cleaning" of the nether regions. Just as house windows are opened (once all the sealing tape is ripped, torn, scraped, shredded and/or peeled), so, too, the venerable "crack" MUST be allowed to vent.

    Think of it as one of the rites of spring; just as the very first sighting of Robins brings joy, so, too (given the principle that for every action there is an opposite and equal re-action) is the "crack" sighting to bring dismay...

  3. I, too, was witness to both. The aforementioned female at Wal-Mart was deeply disturbing. As I mentioned, how does she not FEEL that? Three inches of crack, then two inches of neon green underwear, then pants. Bum pointed at the entryway. It is burned into my mind. And the aforementioned dude. What up?!? Pull your freakin pants up! You have a belt!!! Tighten one notch. For the love of God.

  4. Yes I saw the woman in Walmart.BUTT I did not see the green gotches but still it was not a good thing. It is not a spring thing to air it out. For me I don't think that I have ever shocked the world with my butt crack.So if this is a spring thing for you PULL YOUR DAM PANTS UP.

  5. I have been acutely aware of my crack lately, precisely because my pants are not fitting like they should anymore (belly getting big, ass staying the same size, equals pants that don't stay up on ass. They just don't.) So I've compensated by wearing tank tops that are really long underneath any shorter sweater or tee shirt that I wear. Until belly is big enough for maternity pants, that's what I'll have to do! I don't do crack! I don't do crack! :p

    The worst crack sighting ever, for me, was walking into the Canadian Tire building when it was being renovated into the church, and being greeted at the door by Pastor Doug's quite hairy chasm. It was horrible. If you've never seen your pastor's crack, consider yourself very lucky. It makes it very hard to concentrate during a sermon, that's for sure.

  6. Oh, Sarah...that's not a pretty sight! I am sure that Doug would have been horrified, too.

    Think happy thoughts. Daffodils. Tulips. Anything but that.


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